I cannot go back to where I came from. It no longer exists.
It should not exist.
When you take a journey, you are no longer yourself. Already no one knows you any more, neither your family nor your friends.
The day you decide to leave, the tablecloth seems foreign, the room where you have slept forever seems unfamiliar, as if someone has left it already.”
Dionne Brand, A MAP TO THE DOOR OF NO RETURN
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Young nigga’s still a teen
Already seen
More pain than most life--
Times shot 2many
Times lost friends don’t
Know if they’ll make
it 2-Morrow detox, rehab
g r o u p t h e r a p y
I’m sitting here telling them my story
Like there’s light at the end of the tunnel
Even though some days I don’t believe that myself
But I keep walking, cuz it’s been about 8 years since I last smoked meth and snorted blow and chopped up zannies and snorted those too and washed it all down with liquor and brew
And I still feel like an addict
And when my young bulls ask me how to keep walking, I tell em yeah, keep your head up nigga
You don’t need to see the ground to know how to walk
You’ve done it before and you’ll learn to do it again
It’s like riding a bike without the bike
Soft snow falls outside and I can see the glint in his eyes. I can see it because it’s the same glint in my eyes, moisture trapped between our lashes
We see each other, transported across time, decade separating us, carrying the same pain
You are a window to my past and I'm a window to your future and we both feel so seen
I see you bro, and I love you bro, and I don’t know how you’ll make it, but you don't need to see a destination to reach it.
You just keep walking and keep that head up, nigga.
Tbh, I don’t know how I’m here, but I’m grateful. And I’m confident that you can get there, too, no matter what “there” looks like for you
Know that I love you, even though I don’t know you, by mere virtue of what you been through
But I do know you. We soul brothers, the same scars on our hearts. And that’s love.
That’s Allah holding us down. Lifting us up.
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I love this. I often wonder How I am still going, how lucky I am to still be able to continue what feels like a fight against myself. like winning yet losing at the same time. You often have a way of putting my thoughts and doubts into words & I appreciate that Said. You’re an incredibly brave person to be able to put yourself out there the way you do. You’re an inspiration & even though I don’t know you, I have love for you and wish the best for you.
I appreciate the love, and I’m sending it right back, anonymous friend. May Allah be with you ALWAYS.